Letting Go: You've Got This!

Melanie Lane and her husband, Noah are 32 year olds en route to Mexico as Career Missionaries. They currently live in New Jersey as they await the finalizations of their children’s adoptions. You can find Mel blogging about foster care, drinking coffee that resembles mud, and posting too many stories on Instagram about her kids. Connect with the Lanes at www.loslanes.com.

One of the most common questions we get asked is, “So when are you leaving for Mexico?” For a while I met this question with a forced, reassuring face and all the faith that I could muster, “Well, it all depends on Baby A’s adoption and the courts timeline… we need some miracles… yadda yadda yadda”. The conversations were so regular and normal that nothing seemed out of place.

Why do we feel the need to explain the Lord’s workings? I’ve been reading through Luke, and it dawned on me that Jesus never apologizes for His Father; He never reasons His ways.

This process of surrendering our timeline, children’s futures, call to Mexico, and my own personally-applied-pressure-to-please-people has revealed so much about my inner control freak. I didn’t realize how tightly I grasped to control until I realized how little I had.

I remember when we were starting the process of foster care the guy looked at us and said, “I hope you’re not planners.” We giggled and thought that we weren’t. In comparison to the majority of type A people, we’re not. But this guy was expecting us to not even plan out, like, days in advance. This guy was apparently more in tune with Jesus’ ways than I was.

I think the worst part about letting go is not knowing what God will put into your hands instead. That’s been the most challenging part of surrender lately… while God has never failed me, I’ve been disappointed by some of His answers to my most desperate prayers.

“Surrendering to God doesn’t mean trying to figure out all of the possibilities that could now happen. Surrendering means giving it to Him and moving on.” –A wise man (aka, my husband).

Like Noah said above, when we release our stuff to God, we’re not then responsible to pick up the next plot line; it’s not up to us to figure out another plan or to explain what He’s doing. It’s up to us to release… and wait.

But that waiting process? That’s the good stuff. Scary? Somewhat seeming to waste time? Looking like failure? Let me just tell you that Jesus has done more in our waiting than in our busyness. Waiting has truly become its own desired season, not just something to get through.

Because while waiting for Jesus to fill in the emptiness of our newly surrendered hands IS scary, it has never failed me. His allowances of trials and applied pressures have only increased His glory and proof of providence. All of my unmet expectations, tears, worries, and deepest fears have only been met with His never ending love.

In the last two years we’ve been able to see friends come to know Jesus, a new son being added to our family, our budget being raised (DESPITE the delays), encouraging others in the adoption and foster process, 2 cars being provided for free, and watching caseworker after case worker see the countless miracles God is doing on our daughter’s behalf. These are merely scratching the surface!

We chose to “let go” when we became followers of Jesus Christ, but I can assure you it hasn’t been the easiest decision. There have been times that I can feel the Lord peeling my fingers off of something I’m white-knuckling while He’s gently prying my heart open and saying, “trust me”.

He is to be trusted. He doesn’t have to explain what He’s doing, and we don’t have to have the added pressure of explaining it to others.

Now, when people ask about Mexico, I kind of chuckle and say, “I have no idea!”. We continue to talk, and I just tell the story of what God has done and wait for the ending.

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23

He’s the only One we should be holding onto; don’t let go of your hope. The other stuff? Drop it. Drop it all at His feet. You’ve got this.

Meryl Spadaro