Leah Marbut is a missionary kid and an LAC Missionary to Ecuador, alongside her husband, Joil, and four children. They are currently serving their fourth term on the mission field, running a girls' shelter and reaching the remote Shuar people group with the gospel for the first time, among various ministries.
It's amazing how comfortable you can become in your craziness, you know what I mean?! Like most busy moms out there, I too find my days full to the brim. Between homeschooling our four children, (1st, 3rd, 7th and 8th grade) taking care of household duties, finances, cooking, not to count 'outside the home' duties as director of a girls home to over 40 young girls, Pastor's wife, ministry team, etc... there isn't much more time in the day!
However, for the last year, something has been pulling at my heart strings... I want to do more!
Have you ever had a hunger for something but just can't get the satisfaction from anything you eat? If you have ever been pregnant you might know very well what I am talking about but I have to admit, it happens sometimes even when I am not! You grab the leftover cake, eat half of it and then realize what you really want is something salty, so you grab the first salty bag of chips, eat the whole bag just to realize you want fruit but then you are too full to eat anything else and just get frustrated that you wasted all those calories and you still aren't satisfied.
I think that pretty much sums up some of the feelings we can get when we aren't allowing God to use us to our fullest potential.
John 13:7 Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
Sometimes we just don't understand what God is doing, why do we feel this way, what is the reason? Sometimes we just need to trust Him when we say "God, use me."
This has been my prayer this year, "God, use me." But that comes with a big fear factor. You've heard it before, be careful what you ask for! The easy part is saying "God, use me." The hard part comes when he does!
And that is just what he has done.
Growing up, my dad used to tell me the best way to overcome my fears were to face them. I remember that became my motto and I probably did way to many dangerous things with that in mind. Like diving off cliffs into lakes where my stomach literally brushed the tops of the trees, bungie jumping, skydiving, repelling, all in the name of facing my fear. I wanted to overcome my fear of heights and so I tested it to the limits. (However, I still get some butterflies when I am too close to a window on the 10th floor of a building).
I believe when you trust God completely with your life, it is a lot like facing your fears, because let's be honest, the only reason most of us don't trust God 100% is because we are afraid. Afraid of what it will cost us, how it will make us feel, afraid of becoming something we aren't so sure we will be comfortable being, etc...
What is it you need to be asking God for? What is it you are afraid of? Are you being used to your fullest for Him?
This past year has been so much fun (and fearful at times) to see the doors the Lord has opened in my personal life as well as in our ministry. I've been able to do some pretty amazing things like take several trips into the deep jungle to minister, become part of the leadership team for the youth at our church to help meet a need (not something I went to school for, ha!) do baptisms, baby dedications, funerals, and many other things that honestly I would have never of done, if it wasn't for three little words that I have been praying this year... God, use me!
It's funny the way the Lord works. The Word says in 2 Cor 8:12, "For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have."
God is looking for a willing heart to pour into.
So what about you? What are your heart strings being pulled at? It's a pretty amazing journey to be used by God - but I warn you, be careful what you ask for!
Originally posted on Leah Marbut's blog, www.herjunglejourney.com.